Spinster
by Delay88
Summary: Others may pity her and whisper 'spinster' behind her back, but she's lived the only life she ever wanted - Cersei on her deathbed, looking back on her life, feeling happy and content. Based on "Tywin, Cersei - Old Maid AU" ASoIaF Kink Meme prompt (Warning: Major Character Death)


**Summary:** Others may pity her and whisper 'spinster' behind her back, but she's lived the only life she ever wanted - Cersei on her deathbed, looking back on her life, feeling happy and content

Prompt: Tywin, Cersei - Old Maid AU (old ASoIaF kink meme prompt) Tywin is so intent on Cersei becoming a Queen that he manages to destroy any chance of making a match with someone worthy of her. Cersei grows old and dies in her Father's halls; forever an unwanted maid.

 **Disclaimer:** All characters belong to GRRM

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Her hair was as white as the snow falling from the skies above the Rock. Her eyesight had failed her a winter ago, so she could no longer see it, but she could smell it in the air, and Jaime would describe the shape of the flakes to her as he held her in his arms and gently kissed them off her face.

Her handmaiden squealed when she saw them standing on the balcony out in the cold. "M'lady, please, come inside! You, too, Ser. You'll catch a cold and die!" That made Cersei smile, but she tapped Jaime's arm, the signal to carry her back inside. He, too, was an old man and barely had the strength, but he was too proud to let any other man carry her, and the servants were wise enough not to interfere.

"The maester is here to see you." A warm, firm voice greeted them in her chamber. Cersei recognized it at once.

"Janei!" Sweet little Janei, who had long become a woman in her own right and whose children had borne her grandchildren. _You'll be the ruling lady of Casterly Rock after me_ , she thought proudly. _Perhaps one day when the maesters look back on the history of the Westerlands they'll call you Janei the Unlikely_.

Janei was her cousin, but Cersei thought of her more as the daughter she'd never had. _My daughter and my heir_. She knew her vassals would bristle at getting another liege lady, just like they had cried foul when she herself had taken over the reins at the Rock, but Janei was _strong_. She would be able to deal with her bannermen, of that Cersei was sure.

Jaime placed her on the bed, covering her frail body with a thick blanket before lying down beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

She heard the labored breathing of the maester sitting by the bed long before he addressed her. "My lady. I've brought you the wine."

"Leave it by the bed," Cersei said. "You may go." She could hear him place the cup on the bedside table before shuffling out of the room. "Leave us. I need to be with my brother," she told Janei. "The maester will want a word with you later."

She sat up in her bed after her cousin had left. "Give me the wine," she told her brother. "I'm tired. I need to sleep." Jaime did as he was bid, stroking her head as she took small sips from the cup. She smiled, handing him the cup. "Finish it for me, my love, you can use some rest." He hesitated for half a heartbeat before gulping down the rest of the wine.

Cersei lay back down, turning towards him, tracing his wrinkled face with her hands, running her hands through what little remained of his hair. _I would have married you if they had let me_ , she thought. But for all her power as Lady of the Rock, that had been impossible.

Jaime was with her now though, and that was all that mattered. She could feel the warmth of his body and hear his voice as he sang to her: " _I loved a maid as white as winter with moonglow in her hair._ " He had a _terrible_ voice, but somehow, she felt herself choke up as she listened to him.

It reminded her how lucky she'd been to be able to spend her life with her brother against all odds. They could have been easily separated, each married off to a lord and a lady in opposite corners of the realm, forced to live hundreds of leagues apart. Yet somehow, through a series of coincidences and thanks to their lord father's mad ambition to make her a queen, they'd been spared that fate.

Her mother had tried to marry her to Oberyn Martell, but her father had been appalled by the idea and done everything in his power to undo the match. "My daughter will be _queen_ , not married to some bastard in your southern wasteland," he'd told the Princess of Dorne when she'd come to take Cersei to Sunspear.

She'd been too young to remember any of it, but Oberyn had told her the full story years later over a cup of wine. Cersei had apologized to him, but the Dornish prince had been unfazed by her lord father's insult. "It would seem we are both yet unwed and rather enjoying ourselves, so we should thank Lord Tywin for preserving our freedom, don't you think?" They'd toasted to that. It was an odd thing, to drink to being free _of one another_ , but the silent understanding they'd shared made it feel _right_.

She still remembered how upset she had been when she'd learned that Prince Rhaegar would not wed her. The ambitious, impatient girl she had been made her smile now. Still, it did not seem that long ago that she was young. _Where did all those years go?_

When King Robert had turned her down, marrying Lysa Tully instead, her father had despaired. Several of his bannermen had approached their liege lord after the end of the Rebellion to ask for Cersei's hand, but Lord Tywin had refused them all. "Lysa is frail," he kept telling his daughter. "Her health will fail her in time." Cersei had nodded obediently and secretly prayed to the Mother to keep Robert's wife safe. For once, her prayers had been answered: Queen Lysa had outlived both King Robert and Lord Tywin.

She'd convinced Jaime to return to the Rock with her after her lord father's death. He was still a Kingsguard, if only in name, so she'd become the ruling lady. The people of the Westerlands had not taken kindly to her. _Power hungry whore!_ They'd whispered behind her back at first. _Spinster!_ They'd muttered under their breath later. _You'll die ugly, lonely and unloved._ But as long as Jaime was by her side, gently and quietly lending her support, their words could not harm her.

"Being with you is the best thing that ever happened to me!" She whispered in his ear. And it was true. If given the choice she wouldn't change a thing.

Jaime had fallen silent, and she could feel her own heart slowing as the poison spread through her blood. _We came into this world together, we spent our lives together, and we will die together._ "It won't be long now, my love." She said softly as she kissed him goodbye.


End file.
